i just read an alienware ad that says, and i am quoting here, “Take command immediately with Alienware’s all-new, anodized aluminum case design that includes motorized vents for managing your thermals and intimidating the competition.”
ignoring the absolute retardation of the idea of putting motorized vents on your computer, if you’re the type of person who is intimidated by open and closing vents on the side of someone’s desktop computer, you may not be the type of person who should be going outside. the sight alone of a revolving door might cause you to lose control of your bladder.
also in this ad, which is for the Area-51 ALX, are the words “With the highest overclocked CPUs, the most extreme graphics and new aggressive design, you’ll be the deadliest force that’s known and feared by all other gamers.”
i know a lot of people play modern warfare and suddenly think they’re badasses. they learn one or two army phrases and toss them out whenever possible because they think it lends legitimacy to the fact that they really do think that they’re army tough now. my problem is that ads like this probably only make those people think they’re even scarier. i don’t really care how overclocked your CPU is, how cool your computer’s case looks, or even how expensive your graphics card was. the fact is, the majority of the people buying this stuff are overweight nerds who haven’t been hugged in 10 years because they sweat mountain dew and cheeto dust. they’re about as deadly as lightly rapping yourself on the forehead with an empty bottle of water, and they’re about as fear-inducing as…
…okay, actually, i can’t think of anything more fear-inducing than a lonely nerd sitting in his mom’s basement brandishing his stainless steel katanas while his strangley shaped desktop computer glows a weird red color as the sides open and close randomly. the smell alone would probably cause me to cower in terror.
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thatthingyoulike reblogged this from trizerotops
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trizerotops posted this
